Goodbye
by HedgieX
Summary: Only as Jess is dying do she and Becker finally realise their true love for each other. There's so much they could've done together...but now it's all over. As the team say a tearful goodbye, can Jecker find peace together before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

It had taken them ten years to realise it. A decade of watching and waiting, admiring from afar, but never revealing their feelings. If only they'd acted sooner...

Jess lay still in her hospital bed, gazing up at the pale ceiling wistfully. It was so pure, white. So innocent. She could feel her strength oozing away, her eyes becoming heavier as she struggled to focus on the scene around her. "Becker?"

"I'm here. I'm here, baby," he sounded emotional as he reached out and took her hand in his own, squeezing gently. She couldn't see his expression, but she guessed he was crying. She was too.

It wasn't that she was scared. Dying wasn't something she'd ever feared – when your time came, you went, didn't you? Still, it was harder than she'd imagined, grasping that this was her last day in the world, that tomorrow she'd be gone. It was all so final.

"Don't cry," she pleaded.

Her request, hypocritical or not, fell on death ears as Becker gave a tearful sniff, stroking her hair back from her eyes and leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.

There was so much they could've done together. Walked along sunny beaches in the Mediterranean, cuddled up at home in front of faded movies. Had children. Why was life so cruel?

Jess struggled up onto one elbow, ignoring Becker's protests, and surveyed her other visitors serenely. Her parents sat on one side of the bed, biting their lips in anguish, while her colleagues were huddled together around Becker, their gazes fixed on her. "I...I'm going to miss you all. So much."

"We'll miss you too," Matt, in his familiar Irish tones, replied warmly, conveying everyone in the room's emotion, "Controlling all those maps, and buttons, and all of us... I mean, There'll be no-one to tease Becker when I shoot him with the EMD."

Abby smiled reminiscently, though the moment was bittersweet, "You've been a brilliant friend, Jess. So loyal, and sincere."

"I have to agree, you're unique, Miss Parker," Lester mumbled, speaking from somewhere behind Connor's head. For a second, Jess thought she'd caught sight of a red and yellow polka-dot handkerchief in his hand, but it must've been a trick of the light. James Lester upset? No. "I've no doubt you'll be missed at the ARC."

"Thank you." she whimpered. This was it. This was goodbye. "Thank you for everything. All of you."

"You too." Matt, again, answered for all of them. Abby gave a stifled sob, and Lester, seeing the pain of his team, indicated to the exit. They stood up, murmuring private messages to Jess as they headed out.

"See you, Jess," Connor was the last to go.

"See you." even his eyes were flooded with tears as he left – it must be bad, she decided miserably.

Becker, still clinging to her hand, now whispered into the silence the very words she'd dreamt of for ten whole years, "I love you."

"I love you too," she managed a weak smile, inwardly wondering how life would've turned out if they'd had this discussion beforehand. But there was no point dwelling on that now; it was hardly going to change, was it? And anyway, maybe it was better this way. Things happened for a reason.

Her mum reached out to hold her other hand, and her dad laid his arm protectively over her leg. Becker, now with silent tears pouring down his cheeks, averted his eyes as the family shared a final beloved conversation.

As he turned back, Jess's eyes flickered sleepily. He gulped back more emotion; he could grieve afterwards. Now, he had to let her go. She deserved that much. "It's okay, Jess. It's okay. You don't need to be scared now; the pain's over. And don't regret anything – you'll be happy, and safe, and that's all that matters. One day, we'll see each other again."

She nodded. She'd believe that. "We...we'd better; you still...you still owe me...for that coffee."

He didn't have the strength to smile any more, "Weak, right? Milk, but no sugar?"

"Yeah. Then again, w...with the...sugar."

"It's a deal," he gave her hand a final gentle clasp, then lay it on her stomach, laying his head on the bed beside her. Her eyes sparkled for a beat, and for a moment she just looked so content that it broke his heart. Then her eyes closed one final time - her breathing fell silent, and her chest still.

And, as her mother broke down by her bedside, sobbing as if her world had been torn apart, it took all of Becker's will, and more, to stay seated. He couldn't get angry about it. He couldn't blame people, or wonder about what could've happened.

For her sake, and for his, he needed to remember her as she was. As a sweet, loyal and sincere young girl, with a passion for her work, and a unique determination to save the world. Or he couldn't live with himself.

"Goodbye, Jess."

XxXxX

**Thanks for reading :)**

**I still don't own Primeval...I'm working on it ;)**

**This was going to be a one-shot but I might do a second part with the funeral if anyone wants...**

**Please review and tell me what you thought! xx**


	2. Chapter 2

Soft, sweet music echoed around the peaceful chapel, accompanying Becker's words as he addressed the congregation through his tears.

"Jess...Jess achieved so much in such a short space of time. She was a loyal friend throughout her life, and a perfect daughter. She'd give anyone a chance, no matter who they were, or what they'd done in the past. And she was just so brilliant at her job; so happy in it, and willing to act upon anything thrown at her."

Becker paused shakily, glancing up and around the church. His colleagues sat on one side; Matt with his head bowed, Connor with his arm around Abby, Lester straightening his tie. Even Philip was there, a remorseful grimace set on his face, along with a whole load of others he recognised from the ARC. Obviously Jess had inspired many people.

On the opposite column of pews sat family, ranging from the elderly to the infantile. Rows and rows of faces, all staring sorrowfully up at him. Some crying, some nodding in agreement. He'd known Jess was special. But this was something different.

"I loved her. I suppose I always did. But, being the emotional re... but I never found the courage to speak up until it was too late. Jess deserved a long, fulfilling life, but she didn't get one. Cancer is a cruel and heartless disease. Never did Jess complain, or pity herself. A few moments before her death, she was thanking her friends for being there for her. Joking on about heaven."

Abby gave a muffled sniff, cuddling further up to Connor. Jess's mum had silent tears trickling down her face, but a somehow knowing smile crossed her lips too. Just like her daughter.

"That kind of outlook pretty much sums up her life. She was willing to do anything for others, to put them before herself time and time again. And when her time came, she accepted her fate. She died tragically; never have I known a girl so alive, and so content in it. But she wasn't afraid, or regretful, and neither should we be; she wouldn't want that. We need to remember her as she was – a friendly, fun loving, young woman. She deserves that."

Becker folded his sheet of paper and retreated down the stairs of the lectern to his seat beside Matt. His colleague merely gave him an empathetic smile, extending his arm so that Becker could share the service sheet. They were united in this...

"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust..." the vicar's voice reached Becker's ears, but he didn't really dissolve the meaning of the sentences. He'd managed to keep his emotions under control until now. But seeing the gleaming white coffin lowered into a hole in the earth broke his heart into even tinier pieces.

Abby scattered a handful of scarlett roses over the wood, her eyes closed in prayer. Jess's teenage sister stepped forward and recited a poem as she gazed up at the ceaseless blue sky. Becker simply sank down to the grass, weeping inconsolably.

XxXxX

**Thanks for reading – please review xx**


End file.
